The People Versus Jeremy Warner

Criminals

2009-06-18T02:27:00.002-06:00

Observations:
My Mom and Dad love me even if I do get fat.
Separate is not always better.
When a member of a group makes something on their own, that work is attributed to the separate entity of the respective creator and not the group as a whole.
Internet commercials are much louder than regular commercials.
Same human is a common occurrence.
Guns don't kill people.
Bad diets kill people.

Popular Opinion

2009-04-09T20:11:00.002-06:00

I have a sore throat. It hurts a lot. I think it's because I lit a bunch of papers on fire the other day. It was fun, but the smoke was not fun.
A lesson can be learned from this. Sometimes we do things that seem fun, but in the end it actually hurts us. I haven't blogged in a while. I apologize. I will do better. I must do better. For if I don't, I will forget who I am. In the world today, one cannot exist unless accompanied by other ones as well as some zeroes intermittently placed between them. Here's an update on what I've been up to:
I go to college.
I have a job.
I have a fiancee.
I have a sick.
I have a band.
I make movie.
I have internet.
I teach kids.
I know what you're thinking. Pretty busy right? Nailed it.

Holiday

2008-11-26T17:35:00.002-07:00

I have neglected this blog.... I give you my apology.

object width="425" height="344">

I just slept in class

2008-09-25T14:31:00.002-06:00

And now I am blogging. Can anyone say 21st century?

In other news...

I am busy going to school and doing all sorts of entertaining things.

I am quite happy in love.

Things are going pretty okay.

The art of early mornings.

2008-09-16T08:03:00.002-06:00

I didn't go to the library, I just sat there.
I ddn't do my assigment, I just sat there.
I forgot the "i" in "didn't" and the "n" in "assignment.
It is early and I'm afraid I have long hours awake still.
I need to grade papers.
I need to find book resources.
I think I will do that in awhile.
I am now grading papers, while I just sit here.

Get This

2008-09-07T23:26:00.003-06:00

So I was just sitting there minding my own business, you know just drinking some water and cuddling with Catey, when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, completely unexpected, out of the blue, didn't see it coming at all, Katie Katherine spills peaches and cream all over her.

Unbelievable.

There are no stupid questions, only stupid people

2008-08-24T12:26:00.002-06:00

Man: This is a strange map.
Me: That's actually the activity section of the kids menu. What you've got there is a maze.

Interview

2008-07-25T15:23:00.002-06:00

Sometimes I wonder what it would be liked to be interviewed day by day. If I was interviewed yesterday this is what it would have been like.

Rolling Stone: How was work?
Jeremy Warner: All I did was drink water and go to the bathroom all day long.

But if the interview took place on July 23 it would have gone something like this.

Spin: How was work?
Jeremy Warner: Crazy
Spin: What happened?
JW: Well it all started when this bald guy came in and was all 'Are you the manager?' and then I was like 'No.' then he was like 'Well can I talk to the manager?' and I was all 'Uhhh, yeah, go talk to her' because I had food in my hands.
Spin: What did he want?
JW: I walked over and asked one of the cooks if they were La Migra because they had all gotten very quiet and didn't say anything. Then the bald guy was like 'Is there a Carlos that has worked here?' and I was like 'Probably at some point in the existence of this place. That's a very common name.' Then he said 'This is very serious, we have reason to believe that he is here.' Then I said 'Who said he was here?' and he was like 'His family.'
Spin: His family?
JW: Yeah, his family. Like his family is a great source in an immigration case.
Spin: Yeah, that is unlikely/
JW: That Carlos's family must really hate him, you know? But anyways, Captain Immigration went looking through the back as if we were hiding him in a box or a closet like Elian Gonzalez. He found nothing.

If I was interviewed about today it would have gone like this.

Daily Universe: How was work?
Jeremy Warner: All I did was drink water and go to the bathroom all day long.

You must not know bout me, you must not know bout me.

2008-07-22T08:37:00.002-06:00

I'm really glad that Beyonce is on VH1 right now.
I turned twenty-three. It is pretty okay. I had a fun party.
I just realized Beyonce rhymes "minute" with "minute." I think Fred Durst may have written this particular song.
But anyways. Here's a rundown of things.

Sometimes I Think I Should Sleep More.

2008-07-16T17:29:00.004-06:00

But I never actually follow through. Last week I slept until noon. It felt good. Until I realized I was supposed to be at work at eleven.
Sleep is always a good time. I don't think I've ever had a bad sleep. Bad dreams maybe, but I don't think I dream too much. At least, I don't remember many dreams.
I had a dream a couple weeks ago. All I could recall when I woke up was John McCain was in it.
I'm so patriotic. From now on I will only be known as the Star-Spangled Boy.
Not to be confused with Metal Uncle "Flag Shop Moved."
Not to be confused with "Metal" Mario.Now that I have strayed off topic, I hope to sleep more. And when I do, I only want to dream about this.

Would you like to go out and pick some purpley o's?

2008-07-14T02:30:00.001-06:00

Happiness is two kinds of ice cream.

Julys

2008-07-02T12:10:00.003-06:00

I have neglected the internets lately. But that is because I have other things that I have been up to. Would you like to know about it?

It will be fun.

Alright then.

I rode a bike.
I swam in a pool.
I rafted down a river.
I saw my family.
I hurt myself playing HORSE.
I got a nosebleed from horseradish.
I watched "Gremlins."
I put my guitar back together.
I saw the birth of a University.
Amy moved to Saint George. She was good at cutting lemons.
Erin moved to Seattle. She was probably good at cutting lemon.
I listened to a lot of Motown and RnB.
I like lists.
I still need to file my tax return.
My parents asked me why I'm not funny.
I kissed a girl and I liked it.

Neat, huh?
तो क्लोसे....

00110101100 (hello)

2008-07-01T02:52:00.002-06:00

I have neglected to blog. I've been busy.
I did do this though.
The summer has been pretty darn good.

Best Summer Ever.

2008-06-02T03:15:00.000-06:00

I'm predicting it.

Sports Sports Sports of Sorts

2008-05-29T01:43:00.004-06:00

My roommate was watching something on ESPN and they were talking about Game 4 of the Western Conference Finals between the Spurs and the Lakers. They were talking about what a bad idea it was to give the ball to Brent Barry with 2.1 seconds remaining.

I got to thinking about people I would not want to have the hypothetical ball in a time of crisis. Here goes.

Scott Skiles
Penny Hardaway
Any member of Taking Back Sunday
Marcus Camby
Jeremy Warner
Danny Manning
Danny Tanner
Doogie Houser
Doug E. Doug
Ken Masters
The entire 1972-73 Philadelphia 76ers
Scottie Pippen.

Who I would:

Wilt Chamberlain
Michael Jordan
Dr. J
Steve Kerr
Jesus

Remembering Memorial Day

2008-05-27T20:31:00.002-06:00

Walter Meego is way awesome.
S'mores are good.
I made another blog. Not to replace this one, but to showcase high school art and stuff. Click here to visit it.
I hope summer is rad. Super rad.

Hi Jeremy!

2008-05-24T12:35:00.001-06:00

I was talking to some of my buddies the other day and I was telling them about this job I got for the summer. I asked around if they new anyone that might be interested in working in Florida for the summer and one of them gave me your name. So I looked up your email address in the school directory. Anyway, they still have plenty of openings for sales reps selling Secruity Alarm Systems. I think they might need a couple of installers too. But the best part of working for this company, is that they pay for your travel and staying is this way great apartment complex with 2 pools. It is so cool. I will make so much money this summer...like 20,000 to 30,000 or more. My friend Brendon has been doing this every summer for the past 3 years. Now he is a supervisor. We sell and install Security Alarm Systems in the day and play in the evenings. Jeremy these systems are not hard to sell and I think you would be great at it, heck I'm new, so together we can learn and make a bundle of dough... So check out this website, it shows you where we would be living and playing. How cool is that!! http://palmsatsawgrassmills.com/index2.html Oh and if you would like to talk with my boss Brendon to check it out, just send me the best number to call you at and I will get you hooked up. Have a great summer....hope to see you in Florida.

Jason
Silver-line Security
http://www.silverlinesecurity.net

Fun

2008-05-19T02:27:00.000-06:00

I had a good weekend.
I like this.

I get knocked down.

2008-05-16T01:19:00.002-06:00

Did you know Chumbawamba was formed in 1982?
Did you know that I had asthma as a child and was taken to the hospital for the only time in my life due to an asthma attack?
If you answered yes to either of these questions, let's get married.

Where would I be without you as a friend?

2008-05-15T00:54:00.002-06:00

That last post was on a piece of paper in my house which was written by my friend Colby.
In high school I had a best friend named Zac. I went to college. I went on a mission. I came home. I think I've talked to him 3 times in the past four years. Turns out he's a rock star.
And I'm just me.

Good Morning!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-05-09T10:12:00.002-06:00

It's been a while, hasn't it? Allow me to introduce myself. Since we last talked, I changed my name to Oraleus Blasofas. A bit strange, I know, but with my job as a Blasofasto rocket technician, I think it's fitting. I dropped out of school because I just didn't want to be an esophate chloroplant harvester anymore.
Recently I've been really into nebulonian fuel research and I'm spending most of my time honing my galactic fuel scarcity skills. When I do find a free moment I try to comet hop as much as I can.
Yes, I bet you're wondering if I'm still afraid of Seesetzian Scorofaz. Of course I am. If you had a Scorofaz Hindo tail try to cyber-violate you, you'd be scarred for life too. I mean, sure, I tried to mind block him and invisi-sock him but on can only do so much.
I don't know what I'm going to do next year. I have a pretty promising offer to develop Blasofasto gastic rudders but I'm not sure if I have enough inter-galacto accepted trade currency for my tuition.
Advice? I'm not all the wise, but if there's one thing I know for sure, it's that you always need to work hard and Blasofasto even harder. Don't forget that.
Well, it's been a pleasure. I'll make sure to send you an ornafoosa plant from my old harvest collection as soon as i get a korvorkian nano-second.

Love,
Oraleus Blasofas

Whatever Makes Us Happy is Fine with Me

2008-05-02T01:51:00.001-06:00

Bowling is fun.
I went bowling a couple weeks ago.
And it was fun.

The coolest thing I think I've done this year is ride from the Creamery on Ninth back to my house on Center Street with no hands.

Definitely the coolest.

This Will Tide You Over

2008-05-01T03:06:00.001-06:00

Summertime

2008-04-23T19:30:00.000-06:00

No School
No Parents
Just Fun

You Make Me Feel Like it's Cloudy, but in a Good Way.

2008-04-23T02:47:00.001-06:00

It was me.

Let me do the talking now that I'm here.

2008-04-21T03:33:00.003-06:00

It's late and this is on MTV2.

I wish it was this.

Or possibly "Sensual Seduction."
It was really cold today as well.

Teach a Man to Fish

2008-04-18T17:25:00.001-06:00

This morning I cast my line into the ocean of dreams. The only thing biting was the gigglefish.

A Feisty Summer

2008-04-14T22:14:00.001-06:00

Feist is coming to Park City the day before my birthday. FUN!

What Beautiful Weather You Have! (The Better to Coax You to Remove Your Jacket.)

2008-04-14T21:56:00.002-06:00

It was way nice outside. And yesterday too. Yesterday was just an awesome day:
Church.
Bike riding.
Bike crashing.
More bike riding.
Stephen Groo.
More bike riding.
Cookies.
Scooter riding.
Note writing.
More scooter riding.
Limeade.

Today was pretty okay too:
Work.
Soup.
Taxes.
Piano.
Homework.
Blogging.

On second thought today wasn't that much fun.

Until now.....

Totally sick!

Saturday

2008-04-12T23:19:00.005-06:00

Have you ever been shaving with an electric razor and it dies? Well, I have. Today, in fact.

That's not even Photoshopped. It hurt a lot.

I'm a Real Boy

2008-04-09T01:48:00.002-06:00

I think that one of my biggest fears is that no one will take me seriously.

To Whom It May Concern

2008-04-08T01:22:00.001-06:00

My life is not very interesting. I woke up today and saw that it had snowed. I then thought, "That's neat. I don't want to do my homework." So, I didn't. Then I went to Best Buy and played rock band. After that I went to the mall. I went into the bathroom and saw something funny. You know how there is usually mirrors on the opposite side of the stalls? Well, there was a guy who didn't shut the door to his stall and I could clearly see him in the mirror when I walked in. That was funny. Then I ate some Sbarro pizza. I felt so teenage. Then I went to the 1:10 showing of Juno. It was just me, an elderly woman and two preteen children.

Boring.

I also think I'm just a little awkward. Maybe in the 14-79% range. Which would actually mean a little to a lot of awkward.

I also have writer's block.

Star Wars

2008-04-06T17:18:00.001-06:00

Is Awesome.

The Joy of Cola

2008-04-04T10:04:00.003-06:00

What happened to Hallie Eisenberg, the little Pepsi girl?
Well, turns out she likes PlayStation.

She's also been on Broadway.

Maybe there will be a huge twist of irony in 2011 when she wins the Coca-Cola Refreshing Filmmakers Award.

I'm Getting Married

2008-04-03T10:26:00.000-06:00

Only real suckers fall for that on the 3rd.

The Writer's Strike is Over

2008-04-02T14:44:00.002-06:00

I will write more soon. This is to tide you over. Our agenda for the next few months.

Initial Five Years
Through a consistent regimen of activities, we begin to learn the craft.

A. Practice Jobs (Goals)
1. Sharpen timing
2. Be able to make errors in safe environment

B. First Real Heist (Goals)
1. Assemble small team
2. Create cash base
¯¯¯¯¯
Mr. Henry

C. Cultivate Relationship with Abe Henry
1. Work with professionals
2. Make name for ourselves
Anthony: Of all our goals the crucial one to bring to fruition is C. Mr. Henry

* Positive values
Loyalty
Enthusiasm

*Negative Values
Sloth
Predictability

The 2nd Five Years
D. Going Legitimate (w/ Mr. Henry)
1. Make wise investments
2. The Robin Hood Principle
a. Establish good will within community
b. Anonymous donations
E. Develop outside interests
a. Travel
b. Art
c. Science

3rd Phase Years 10-15
Anthony the ideas for these years are ............*****

The Next 25 Years
F. Obviously these years will be heavily influenced by the years that precede them.
1. Multiple accommodations
2. When possible
a. Meet people from foreign countries.
b. Find ways to develop properties

Anthony
Remember what Huey Long said, "You make your own opportunities"

Further Opportunities
..............*****
"Ways of Success"
These are some plans for ways of success
a. chances
b. odds
c. bet long

The Next Fifty

G. Keep working
1. Keep developing
2. No more crime
* Wives and family *
Very crucial
1. Houses
a. Beach house
b. Town house
c. Ranch
d. Lake house

...................*****

Living into 21st century

H. Anthony as you know there can be no way of looking this far ahead.
1. Remain flexible
2. Don't be too derogatory

I. Consider alternatives
1. Within field
2. Outside field
a. College
b. Higher degrees
c. Honorary degrees

J. Why not plan ahead ......why not continue......*****

Season 2

2008-02-10T13:51:00.000-07:00

Hello. I would like to extend a personal welcome to any new readers and a digital handshake to those among the others. Expect a lot of development this year. Who knows where it will take us. All that I can do is tell you where it's been.
What do you do on Saturdays? Ever wonder what I do on Saturdays (No, p. 98; Yes, continue)? Well, instead of telling you about it, I will let you experience it online.
First. I went to Bret's birthday party (he's 23 you know). I ate food. The entertainment?

With:

Followed by:

Then:

And:

Which led to :

Fun!

Private Road

2008-01-18T12:30:00.000-07:00

Last night I went 80's dancing in Salt Lake and came back and there was a boot on my truck. They said I was parked on a private road. I would think that they should maybe put up a bigger sign that said, "Hey, cougar, don't park here or I'm going to put a boot on your car. That's right bitc*." But they don't. So that was at 3 in the AM. I waited a half hour for the boot man to come and I was all tired.
Then I tried to sleep but had the most psychologically terrorizing sleep I can remember and I could not get warm and I ended up throwing up till I dry heaved. I repeated that process a few times then finally I got warm. And I got off work after only being there for 40 minutes because I looked like I was stoned and was going to vomit again.
Hurray! January!

According to iTunes on my computer

2007-12-27T14:10:00.000-07:00

The top 25 most played songs(A Day in the Life would be on here but due to the long period of silence after the final chord I usually push skip afterwards).
25. Bled White-Elliott Smith
24. Little Thoughts-Bloc Party
23. Whoo! Alright-Yeah...Uh Huh-The Rapture
22. Nature of the Experiment-Tokyo Police Club
21. Intervention-Arcade Fire
20. Get Myself Into It-The Rapture
19. Accident and Emergency-Patrick Wolf
18. True Love Way-Kings of Leon
17. Here Comes My Baby-Cat Stevens
16. Getting Better-The Beatles
15. The Heinrich Maneuver-Interpol
14. You Might Think-The Cars
13. Crips-Ratatat
12. Nighttiming-Coconut Records
11. Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)-Arcade Fire
10. Velvet Snow-Kings of Leon
9. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Reprise)-The Beatles
8. Seventeen Years-Ratatat
7. Kids-MGMT
6. Yours to Keep-Teddybears
5. Munich-Editors
4. Ragoo-Kings of Leon
3. Pull Shapes-The Pipettes
2. King of the Rodeo-Kings of Leon

and then

1. The Magic Position-Patrick Wolf

I'm so indie.

3 Days

2007-12-27T11:33:00.000-07:00

Last night I saw Dan in Real Life. I thoroughly enjoyed it. It made me feel so happy inside. Great film. Great music.

Merry Crimble

2007-12-25T23:44:00.000-07:00

I couldn't sleep last night so I drew on my sister's face while she was asleep.
We all woke up and opened presents. My family told me I was eccentric and we went to see The Water Horse.
Then I watched three and a half hours of The Beatles Anthology.
Indie Santa was good to me.

It paints you with indifference, like a lady paints with rouge

2007-12-22T00:49:00.000-07:00

Finally. The semester is over. I learned a lot. I learned about limited space, existentialism, how to public speak, the resonation frequency of a chicken's skull, and that Jesus loves us.
However, there is one thing that I did not learn:

How does Dr. Bunsen Honeydew see?
The world may never know.

Teaser

2007-12-21T00:43:00.001-07:00

I've been listening to the Rolling Stones a lot.

Been thinking little thoughts

2007-10-24T19:55:00.000-06:00

I'm really tired.
I have to give a speech tomorrow.
My mom told me I need to cut my hair and change my style of dress.
I haven't eaten yet.
I'm really tired...
of numerous things.

Sinema

2007-10-20T03:10:00.000-06:00

freedom

2007-09-28T15:53:00.000-06:00

I'm really glad that Hotel Chevalier is free on iTunes.
I'm also really glad there's a free screening of The Darjeeling Limited on October 23 in Salt Lake.

Hummels

2007-09-20T23:25:00.000-06:00

Rolling skating and public speaking is why I love Thursday. My ankle is rubbed raw right now, but that's alright.

Blue Monday

2007-09-10T23:51:00.000-06:00

I was really tired today. I really liked how my day culminated with me not realizing that I forgot to write a paper that had to be e-mailed in by midnight until ten o'clock. I am not in school mode yet. But I could go for school a la mode, I'm always ready for that.

My Water Broke

2007-09-05T23:52:00.000-06:00

Is Labor Day called Labor Day because it is nine months after the year started and if the year was pregnant it would be birthing? That explains why people have the day off a lot better than anything that anyone has told me.

Highlight of the Night: Awkward the Boy

2007-08-31T12:56:00.000-06:00

My friend had a birthday and her roommate invited a boy over. He was okay until he started talking about how hardcore he is and saying that a bunch of stuff was gay. He named off a bunch of hardcore bands he liked so I started a discussion with him that went like this.
"Do you like Atreyu?" I asked.
He replied, "Yeah, they're way good."
"What about Falkor??"
"Yeah they're pretty good."
"Oh. Do you like Bastian then?"
"I haven't really listened to them but I've heard some of their stuff."
Then I said, "What about the snail guy?"
He never caught on.
Highlight of the night: Awkward the Boy
Second: Dancing

Needle in the Hay

2007-08-30T17:25:00.000-06:00

Owen Wilson tried to kill himself and I cared. I like Owen Wilson.

Hot Time August

2007-08-29T11:34:00.000-06:00

It's been a hard day's night, but sometimes late night adventures can be fun.

Thank You Tiffany

2007-08-27T00:33:00.000-06:00

I wish I was in Chumbawamba.

Sleep Deprivation

2007-08-26T02:11:00.001-06:00

Last night I rode a bike around until 4:30 AM. Tonight I just watched Labyrinth.

Songs I Wish I Wrote

2007-08-24T01:00:00.000-06:00

A Day in the LIfe
The Sign
Modern Love
Dancing in the Dark
Mouth
Hey Jealousy
PInk Triangle
I Got My Mind Set on You
As I Lay Me Down
Bad Moon Rising
Always on My MInd
Mo Money, Mo Problems
Message in a Bottle

Ducktales

Wu Tang Clan Ain't Nutin to F*** Wit

2007-08-22T11:55:00.000-06:00

That is a true statement.

RIP ODB

What if you were engaged to a doctor?

2007-08-21T01:27:00.000-06:00

I'm watching "Catch Me if You Can." That Leonardo sure does know just what to say.

"Do you love me Brenda?"

Cougar Elite

2007-08-16T17:31:00.000-06:00

I got home today and noticed a significant scratch on my truck. I was a little pissed since this is the second time this has happened since I've lived here, but had a bit of relief when I saw a note on the driver's side window.

"I wish I could crap in your mouth so you could taste how bad your parking is...next time I'll take your bike...fag. -have a wonderful day."

Well, that didn't make me feel any better after all, in fact, it made me even more upset. First of all, all four tires are within the designated lines and if anything evidence of the scratch shows that from where he was coming the way I was parked would have made it easier for him to get out (I say him because I know that a girl is smarter than to leave a note like that). Fag? Stealing my bike? Does this boy think he is in LFO? I responded with an addition to the bottom lines of his note.

"I'm really impressed with the maturity of everyone here. My mouth's open if you're still up to it."

I can take him in a childish insult war, because I'm just that good.

The Awkward Phase

2007-08-15T01:19:00.000-06:00

Every now and then things change and get awkward and sadness sets in. But after a while the sun comes out.

Monday

2007-08-13T08:00:00.000-06:00

I love this song.

I left on my mission 3 years ago. Wow.

2007-08-11T22:40:00.001-06:00

The repercussions of childhood bullying

2007-08-11T22:37:00.000-06:00

So my mom’s sister has been bullying her since childhood and lately she’s gotten very sick of it. The last time they spoke on the phone my mom told her sister off.
I went to my family reunion today. It was boring. That is until my aunt Julie started talking to my dad. She told him that she didn’t know what my mom had said to him about their last phone conversation but she can assure him that it’s not the correct story. First of all, who does that? I know I would never walk up to somebody’s spouse to tell them that I had a fight with their marriage partner and that, in a nutshell, they are a bad person. I knew this would piss off my mom so I looked to see where she was and I spotted her before she spotted the conversation. When she did I saw the anger in her eyes. She moved over and got in between her sister and my dad.
“What are you doing?” my mom said.
“I’m telling the truth(or something stereotypically cliche like that).” Julie said.
“Go to hell.”
“You go to hell.”
At that moment I walked away. As I walked out of the room my grandma followed me and started to cry.
A few minutes later my mom and dad came out and my mom was really mad. Then her cousin Altherry (stupid name) said “Grow up,” and then struck my mom.
My mom said, “What was that for?”
Then my aunt called her a bitch and a cunt.
Then my mom said “When I die, don’t come to my funeral.”
Then my aunt said “When I die, don’t come to my funeral.”
Then I thought, “My mom wins for originality.”
Then my aunt kicked my mom and said, “Cunt.”
“What the hell is your problem?” my mom asked.
Then my aunt said “I hope you die tomorrow. Why don’t you go twitch(because my mom has seizures). Why don’t you go twitch yourself to death.”
By then I was pretty pissed too so I said to my aunt “Why don’t you go f*ck yourself?”
Then she got in her car and left.
Best family reunion ever.

Goals

2007-08-10T00:58:00.000-06:00

Get a job.
Find living place.
Figure out how to pay for school and still keep blood in my body.
Get married.

Lock Shock

2007-08-02T01:08:00.000-06:00

I locked my keys in my truck last week. The cops would not assist me because I did not endanger a child by locking it in with the keys. I don't even have a child to endanger.

my blog

2007-07-26T00:00:00.000-06:00

one time i put up a serious post. nobody read it because it was 6 pages long.

Fascination Street

2007-07-19T00:08:00.000-06:00

Last night I walked two blocks down Bulldog and was almost hit by four motorists. Is my skin really so dark that I cannot be seen at night or are people just idiots?

Oregone

2007-07-17T20:56:00.000-06:00

After much deliberation I have decided to depart from Portland and journey back to Provo. As I traversed the unforgiving nothingness of Idaho there was one thing to keep my journey going strong, and that was Journey. Did you know that it is 3 "Don't Stop Believings" from the Idaho Center to the east side of Boise? I wonder how many DSB it is from Provo to Salt Lake. One day I think I will see.
I will always remember those times in Portland. I will look back on all the times spent crawling under houses and that special occasion when Sniggler the Rat was calling to me as I crawled over the heating ducts and through his droppings. It was definitely an experience both happy and sad, mean and nice, current and ex-girlfriend. So as I had come to the conclusion to leave, I wanted to commemorate the occasion and leave on good terms and to always be able to look back and smile. As a result, I give you this. Please enjoy and as you do, think of that special place that you have in your heart.

3 reasons UVSC is cool

2007-07-07T00:37:00.000-06:00

Muse, The Smashing Pumpkins and Interpol

Why did the hipster lose the karate tournament?

2007-07-04T01:54:00.000-06:00

Because all he had was a white belt.

Har, har.

Saturday Night

2007-06-30T18:22:00.000-06:00

I like to sit on the couch without a shirt before I shave my mustache. Like this.

Bored Apartment Spare Time

2007-06-29T00:36:00.000-06:00

Sometimes it is fun, sometimes it is sleep.

Salt 'n Pepa's Lonely Hearts Club Band

2007-06-27T00:39:00.002-06:00

While driving around today I heard this song. I'd like to hear it more. It addresses a serious issue, sometimes taboo. But most of all, it makes me want to dance.

Pac Noir

2007-06-25T00:32:00.000-06:00

I like Oregon. Maybe I should marry a hipster girl from Oregon and we can live in the Portland metropolitan area. However, from the looks of the ward today, the odds are not in my favour. Possibly Ocean's 14 could help me beat the odds of the summer girl scene, or the lack thereof. I'm not a gambling man, but Kenny Loggins' "The Gambler" can be applied to this, particularly a) when to walk away and b) when to run. I guess it's a good thing that the Nike world campus is across the street. Someday I'll catch a falling star and put it in my pocket, save it for a rainy day. Until that day comes, I've got one hand in my pocket and the other one's giving a peace sign.

Not really. I mean, how else would I have typed this?

OMGPS

2007-06-22T09:39:00.000-06:00

Technology is neato. However, everything has its drawbacks, and global positioning systems are no exceptions. Sure, its alright for awhile and you enjoy having it around, but soon after it starts taking to long to make up its mind and it just keeps on telling you what to do and its voice becomes terrible and unbearable. You get to the point where you just want to break away and fly solo so you can listen to whatever you want and go wherever you want.
In conclusion, the GPS has two X chromosomes.

Dear Sasquatch

2007-05-28T01:40:00.000-06:00

We kept it real, but you kept it realer. Good luck in all you undertake.

Sincerely,
Alexander and the children of the forest

Memorial Day Weekend

2007-05-25T23:51:00.000-06:00

It's hard to believe that it's the end of May already. I just hope this Memorial Day Weekend will be good.
I mean its going to be hard to beat Memorial Day Weekend 2001. That's right. Ben Affleck. Josh Hartnett. "Pearl Harbor." I just hope Michael Bay plays a role in my weekend. Maybe Bjork will wear a Michael Bay suit.

I don't know what to think about this one.

2007-05-24T14:56:00.000-06:00

After driving around for an hour, I decided to call the person who I was supposed to install for and ask them for directions. They told me how to get there and so I drove and soon enough I was there. I knocked on the door and a woman answered. I told her who I was and she said, "Did you find it?" referring to their house. I looked at her and simply said, "Yeah." Her shirt may have said "Lucky" on it, but I doubt she was that in school.

Fast forward one hour later and I'm on the roof, get hit in the face by my drill, and spit blood all over the shingles. That's what happens when people ask stupid questions, or rather, when stupid people ask questions.
"Did you find it?" Come on, let's be adults here.

Thursday, I don't care about you.

2007-05-17T09:58:00.000-06:00

Why does every mall have Chinese food in the food court? There must not be anything more American than Chinese mall food. Sometimes you just feel like chicken, but it makes it so much better if that chicken is orange.

It's getting better all the time...

2007-05-15T12:06:00.000-06:00

I was blown away, what could I say? This is my summertime, listening to Daughtry at least once a day, sleeping very little, driving around the area, climbing on roofs and scratching my ankles due to fibreglass exposure. This right here explains how I feel.

James says "World peace."
I say "Sync."

The time that breaks

2007-05-12T23:08:00.000-06:00

Today I went to Burger King and ordered some medium french fries. As part of a promotion to endorse S Man 3 there was a little scratch, or rather "rub" and win gamepiece attatched. I had two choices: Redman or Blackman. I analyzed the situation weighing the possible outcomes of either decision I chose to make. Finally I chose Redman and won small onion rings.

The Spokane Word

2007-05-07T14:14:00.000-06:00

I've been in Spokane for a week. The night I got here I went into the bathroom and turned on the light to find that someone had put red beans and rice in the bathtub and toilet. Then it turned out that wasn't the case at all. Turns out the sewer was backing up into my bathtub. That's right, it wasn't red beans and rice all along. It was fecal matter. So, we had to move apartments and the plumbing here is pretty good.
In other news, I got electrocuted at some immigrants' house. I was a bit shocked but regained composure and had a wonderful time trying to explain. It basically came down to saying "I grab ladder..." then I would shake a lot. Good ole Toiyvo Vakonpaa. You would think that being in America for over fifty years and having cable since the Calgary Winter Olympics someone would understand English, but no. But it's all good now.
I'll tell you what's not so good. I got a C- in Geology 100. I was sad. I looked a bit like this. Notice the emotion and the wreckless unkempt look. It really threw me for a loop. But, there's worse things that could happen. Like this.
Now she looks sad.

How do they do it?

2007-05-01T21:31:00.000-06:00

I've got my suspicions.

Marriaged

2007-04-27T09:40:00.000-06:00

My friend is doing that today. I should probably go shower. I have to be there in an hour.

"Hip"ocrite

2007-04-25T22:26:00.000-06:00

I remember saying how stupid it is when people take pictures of themselves doing regular things that regular people do. For example, one evening at IHOP there was a group of girls who got their picture taken in front of the building. Honestly, if you want to remember your outing at IHOP wait until you get your bank statement and then you can think to yourself, "6 dollars for pancakes?" Well, last week after the postponement of a concert we had a plan B Pizza Party. I fell prey to the commoner paparazzi. But it was at a chic eatery that is not a worldwide chain, so that makes it ok, right?

Must've been some pretty good pancakes.

How Embarrassing

2007-04-24T10:46:00.000-06:00

I was listening to my iPod in the library. When I took out my laptop to study I turned it off and unplugged the headphones, leaving them in my ears. I opened up iTunes and started listening to *N Sync's "Tearin' Up My Heart." To my dismay, I realized I forgot to plug in the headphones to the computer. And no matter what I do I feel the pain.

You are quickly becoming one of the most interesting girls I have ever met.

2007-04-22T16:29:00.000-06:00

Oh, Jude, you really know how to heat things up.
I on the other hand behave like the best friend.

F words

2007-04-22T01:50:00.000-06:00

I took my final for a theory class early Saturday morning. I have developed my own theory that I will now address.

The condition in which people are attracted to members of both of the sexes will be referred to as "ambidextrous."
People will associate items with their most negative use or experience, i.e. it is Hitler's mustache as opposed to Chaplin's. I call this phenomenon nonpositconundrumediation.
After three months all forget-me-nots become remember-how-stupid-I-ams.

It's a work in progress.

She got up and left

2007-04-16T17:57:00.000-06:00

Hello, Hello

2007-04-16T17:56:00.000-06:00

The library is a great place today. I saw a girl from my home ward, an Elder from my mission(who is getting m'd after a transfer home), threw up, and now I'm next to a pretty girl.

Blue Monday

2007-04-16T06:18:00.000-06:00

I woke up at 4:45 to write a paper for my Christian History class and listened to the Beatles Greatest Hits which includes "Back in the USSR." Now I'm listening to New Order. I got to thinking how much I hate it when people misuse the word communism. Oftentimes they are either referring to dictatorship or capitalism, the latter of which communism is designed to overthrow. Idiots.
It also bothers me when people misuse schizophrenia. Obviously somebody hasnt' been reading their DSM-IV. Idiots.

Well, I Never

2007-04-12T09:39:00.000-06:00

Today I saw somebody throw a baby in the air. I don't think I would throw my computer in the air. But maybe a baby. What were they thinking?

I like my Mac

2007-04-10T10:56:00.000-06:00

It makes me want to jump, jump.
As of this moment, I'm listening to other people's music in the library. This person has ABBA and The A*Teens. Everyone has 2Pac and New Found Glory.

God v. Greed

2007-04-06T08:58:00.000-06:00

Spirituality exists within every culture. It was one of the things our country was founded on. It can be a great source for good in society, as those who truly live their religion often make positive contributions. On all of the money in America one can find the words "In God We Trust." The very term implies that we are a faith-based nation with values and standards that hinge upon a common set of beliefs. Faith, to the truly faithful, plays a very large role in everyday life and can influence our thoughts, actions, and almost everything we do with our lives. However, in our day it seems that many in the United States of America have put God to the side and put their faith and trust in money as well as other things of the world. As this trend grows, many are gaining riches and power, all in the name of God. The use of religion for the gain of money and political power contradicts the values of many religions; therefore, it is morally wrong.
In America, we have the blessing of religious freedom. The reason the pilgrims came here in the first place was to escape the religious oppression they faced in England. They desired a place where they could worship as they pleased and that led them to America. As time went on, the English colonized this land. Eventually, the colonists fought to be emancipated from their mother country, and there are many accounts and stories of divine intervention in their struggle towards victory and separation. Through their struggles and success, a fledgling people had become "one nation under God."
With the formation of this nation, it was decreed that there should be a separation of church and state, meaning that government and religious institutions should be separate and remain separate. However in our day, the line between church and state has become a bit blurred. President George W. Bush "repeatedly emphasized his desire to lower the wall that separates church and state and allow the federal government to finance the work of churches and other houses of worship during his 2000 presidential campaign" (Steve Benen, 2002, p. 4). After winning the election, his administration created the White House Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives to accomplish this goal. However, it seems as though the initiatives serve another purpose and that is to gain political power. Alexander Saxton wrote "throughout the so-called Era of Secularism…working classes have tended to be more religious than middle classes," and a large portion of voters in America are working class people (2006, p. 308). In the 2002 elections for the House of Representatives, "the Bush administration sent faith-based officials to carefully selected locations to appear with Republican candidates while touting publicly funded grants to religious groups" (Benen, 2002, p. 4). This was done, no doubt, in hopes to help the Republican party gain political strength.
One major blemish on the face of the faith-based initiatives which has plagued it from the beginning was its failure to go through the approval process of the US Congress. "The initiative was put into place primarily through executive orders issued by President George W. Bush and through regulatory changes affecting various cabinent-level departments and lower federal offices "(Rob Boston, 2007, p. 10). The actions of the Bush administration were in defiance of the system of checks and balances which were established by the founding fathers of our nation. They had done exactly what the system was designed to thwart, which was the exercising of their power irresponsibly. By making an executive decision in regards to the faith-based initiatives, President Bush took the power out of the hands of Congress and violated the rule of law of consent. It was stated by Rod Paige, former United States Secretary of Education, that the President did this "because he knows first-hand the power of faith to change lives…because faith changed his life (Boston, 2007, 10)." This makes it apparent that Bush is proselytizing his faith to the world, and to his voters, with "a vehicle for 'good people' to 'act on their spiritual imperative'" (Boston, 2007, p. 13).
The actual concept of the faith-based initiatives is, in my opinion, a good thing. It is good that small congregations can benefit from it and that they will be able to have nicer facilities and be able to do more good with the money that they receive. Ronald J. Sider wrote, "In many of our poorest, most broken neighborhoods, faith-based organizations are almost the only surviving social service organizations "(2005, p. 40). The fact that George W. Bush is a religious man is not a bad thing either, in fact it is quite good. It takes courage to stand for what you believe. However the public display of his affections for his faith is noble, but not necessary. In fact, sometimes I think he plays his religious cards a bit too much and mentions prayer an awful lot for a secular leader. This further supports the theory of his administration wielding the sword of religion in order to win the battle for political power.
While government leaders can use religion to get gain in the sense of political power, those who benefit the most from religion in terms of money are those that preach it. The media can play a large role in the success of preachers. Today, televangelism is a very successful business and many people get their sermons in the comfort of their living room. "During the 1980's, the activities of the contemporary electronic church received so much media attention that televangelists such as Oral Roberts, Jim Bakker, and Jerry Falwell have acquired the notoriety normally reserved for movie stars" (Litman and Bamn, 1989, p. 329). These men used their charismatic ministries to spread the gospel which they professed to love (although they were not free from scandals, among which was a well publicized affair between Bakker and the church secretary). Oral Roberts made a name for himself by hosting numerous religious television specials called "Contact," in which he would have musical spectacles and guest stars mixed with religious messages. As part of the program, a number would come up for viewers to call and they would be prayed for and then the Lord would bless them. This took advantage of those who were not very scholarly when it comes to Christianity, as it says nowhere in the Bible that it is necessary to pay people to pray for you and then you will be blessed. Oral Roberts even went as far as to claim that God was going to kill him if he did not raise a certain amount of money by a specific date. He didn’t' reach the quota, but he didn't die. In fact, he is still alive today, living off the riches he obtained during his ministry. Oral Roberts made his career by exploiting God for money.
The advent of televangelism created a new age for Christianity. It had become the latest form of spiritual sensationalism to add to the ever growing number of different denominations of Christianity. However, it was the political fact of religious disestablishment, or freedom of religion, which gave rise to so many different denominations and televangelism, as well as their roots of American Christianity selling itself as a commodity. "The refusal of the national government to endorse a single denomination left all denominations free to flourish; and to flourish, they had to compete, with each other and with secular rivals, for numbers and money" (Allen Guelzo, 1995, p. 27). The competition among the different sects continues today, causing the religious to become more frenzied. For something that professes a message of love and peace, it has done almost the opposite by perpetuating a cut throat, dog eat dog world in the battle to win over followers among American Christianity. This is because everybody knows that there is strength in numbers and if the followers are few then so is the power and influence of the group. This gives rise to and adds fuel to the fire of competitiveness.
Such sensationalism and fervor can lead to trouble. Unlike the indirect use of religion which the Bush administration has employed to gain political power, some are more up front with their use. Roy Moore, an Alabama politician, has become "the single most significant politician to owe his ascendancy to Christian Reconstruction--an obscure but increasingly potent theology whose top exponents hold that Christian crusaders must conquer and convert the world, by the sword if necessary, before Jesus will return" (John Sugg, 2005, paragraph 5). Such philosophy is reminiscent of the driving force of the religious Crusades in the Middle Ages where many were killed because they were not Christians. Similarly, while not necessarily a religious act, the Holocaust of Nazi Germany was spurred by the radical ideologies of a group which thought themselves to be superior to all others and resulting in the deaths of millions who were different than them. It is this type of use of religion and power that can be dangerous. In the 1960's, after John Lennon's controversial remark on how the Beatles were bigger than Jesus Christ, many Christians held bonfires of Beatles merchandise and some even went as far as sending death threats to the musician. Similarly, in our day Christian groups have burned merchandise from Marilyn Manson to Harry Potter. History shows us that this type of thinking leads to a superiority complex and breeds destruction, whether it is of vinyl records or human life. It can become dangerous for individuals with such ideals to gain power in terms of religious or secular things.
Recently, the world has seen what can happen when power is attained by religious zealots. On September 11, 2001, Islamic radicals hijacked four cross country commercial airline flights on the east coast of America with the intent of crashing them into specific targets. Three of them succeeded, hitting the twin towers of the World Trade Center and the Pentagon and resulting in the deaths of many civilians. These men had done this act in accordance to their religious beliefs. "Specifically, some terrorists are of the opinion that acts of violence against civilians are 'moral' and that martyrdom, even including the sucide of the alleged martyr, is 'the highest morality'"(Barry Cooper, 2007, p. 27). However, they are not a part of the whole of Islam as I have denoted by the word radical. They had very strong convictions that what they were doing was right, so much so that they even died for it. The media has shown much coverage of Islamic jihadists, or holy warriors, since then. Some of the portrayals of Islam as a hate filled and evil religion in the media has been negative and have created intolerance for followers in America because of the misrepresentation of it. I think that it is sad that there is such intolerance for innocent followers of Islam as well as the negative, often biased media coverage of not just Islam, but anything. It doesn't paint a clear picture. We must differentiate between the normal and the radical, the difference being that the normal belief is that of peace and doing what is right while the radical view is that of the militant jihadists who are on a mission to rid the world of evil.
However, this type of mentality which exists among the Islamic jihadists can be found in America among Christians. "'The long-term goal of Christians in politics should be to gain exclusive control over the franchise,' Gary North, a top Reconstruction theorist, wrote in his 1989 book, Political Polytheism: The Myth of Pluralism. 'Those who refuse to submit publicly…must be denied citizenship'" (Sugg, paragraph 11). What this means is for Christians to have absolute control over politics and government and punish those who do not follow with denial of citizenship. This goal is most definitely a misuse of religion as well as a clear violation of the separation of church and state. But, in addition to those faults it echoes a bit of the jihadist point of view, even that of the Nazis. The similarities in all of them are that they all believed that they were right and doing what was moral and they all have a desire to gain control in order to prevent either the infidel, non-believer or Jew from attaining it. The difference is that Christian radicals have yet to make headlines and break into the mainstream by performing acts such as their contemporaries. But, that doesn't rule out the possibility. The goal of Christians in politics as described by Gary North is dangerous thinking and can lead to actions similar to the jihadists and early crusaders, in which violent acts will be performed in the name of God; clearly a misuse of religion in anyone's eyes. I believe that from a secular point of view, there is no way we can prove which religion is right or which cause is justified, we can only judge on the basis of a consensus of moral decency, leaving religious beliefs aside. As long as laws are not broken and lives are not threatened we are all free to do as we please. Islam and Christianity are peaceful religions wherein the radical behaviors of their deviants are not justified by their respective beliefs. These actions of deviance are all instances of religious intolerance, which is not one of the values that Christ, nor Mohammed, taught, and are examples of the misuse of religion in order to gain power.
But amidst it all it seems as though many have forgotten some of the teachings of the God they love. It was Christ who told the rich young ruler how to get to heaven.
"Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me. But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful: for he had great possessions "(Matthew 19:21-22. King James Version).
He later said to his disciples that it was easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into heaven. It was also Christ who was upset with the merchants peddling their goods at the temple, for they were desecrating His Father's house. If these things applied then and God is the same today, yesterday, and forever, then ought not these basic teachings of Christianity apply to the world today? Some televangelists and preachers, such as Joel Osteen, preach the doctrine of prosperity causing their followers to believe that God wants us to be rich, while they flaunt their riches and persuade their congregations and viewers to contribute to their collection plates (Biema and Chu, 2006, paragraph 6). The gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of love and peace, yet there are some leaders who want anything but that. It seems, at times, that they forget about these things which are said in the Bible as they are thumping it to win over more followers.
As these things continue to occur in the world, we must wonder about the conviction of those who are guilty of using religion for advancing themselves. If they truly believe that what they are doing is right, then they do not understand the scriptures, which more than likely are the basis of their beliefs. It needs to be taught that we cannot serve God and mammon nor exercise unrighteous dominion over others. This has become a widespread plague which is morally wrong. People need to put their trust in God and not in money or earthly powers. If this occurs it will stop some of the corruption of Christianity and make America a blessed nation under God. There are still many good, wholesome preachers in the world, as well as great leaders who are religious that help to counterbalance the effects of their opposites. In order to resolve conflict and corruption in terms of religion, we must forget politics and riches and get back to the basics and love one another. That's what the world needs now: love, sweet love.

Plan B

2007-03-29T22:07:00.000-06:00

What the Cheney protest is lacking is a backup plan. It has been voiced that protesters do not want him to speak but I have not heard an alternate speaker to be named. So, here's a list of who could speak at commencement instead of Dick Cheney.

W. Rolfe Kerr
Bill Gates
J.W. Marriott
Colin Powell
Jon Huntsman
Mitt Romney

However, I think the best bet is Ric Ocasek.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBTFwGfZVuA

What the World Needs Now

2007-03-26T01:03:00.000-06:00

I've been thinking a little bit lately and I think I may have come up with a solution to help tone down all the protesting and activism that we are presently seeing in the world today. What is the solution? More mysterious serial killers. Just think. If there were a bunch of unsolved murders occuring do you think people would have time to be out protesting things? No, they'd be too afraid that they're going to die to be concerned with anything else. We'd all come home, check the news and see that the headline is about how (insert your own catchy serial killer name here) has claimed another victim to which we would react by locking the deadbolt and peeking through the peephole. It wouldn't make matters any better when the only composite sketch that is released is a very generic looking male that you think you see everywhere you go. You'd play like nothing's wrong and your friend's would say, "Wow, you're keeping a cool head in light of the circumstances." But you don't show that your main concern is keeping that cool head of yours attached to your body. Frenzy in the streets and fear in the heart, that's what the world needs now.

Untitled

2007-03-03T01:49:00.000-07:00

Sometimes winners have to quit. How else are they going to know what they win at if they don't know what they lose at? Michael Jordan quit basketball to play baseball. Michael Jackson quit music to build a theme park for little kids. Michael Bolton said he loved you, but he lied. See a pattern?

In other news, I've watched "Bridge to Terabithia" three times.

PDA

2007-02-26T18:17:00.000-07:00

I don't care if you love each other.

Things I Miss

2007-02-25T09:49:00.000-07:00

Hawaii
Grandma Warner
Great-Grandma Warner
Light Brite
Uncle Joey from "Full House"
Muppet Babies
Going to movies with Grandpa Warner
Willard, MO
Bartlesville, OK
Being with my family
Steve Perry
Listening to the Cure and Human League in sixth grade Art class
innocence

I wanna know what's over that rainbow

2007-02-22T00:38:00.000-07:00

My friend Jared and I gave B-Money a ride home the other night. He shared his philosophies on life with us. He became too real as opposed to some distant guy with a funny rap video on youtube. He's a nice guy. I don't think I can ever listening to his music again because I would feel bad for the instinctive mocking that I know would occur.
In other news, I love the movie "Bridge to Terabithia." I don't think I have ever been so teary eyed while watching a movie. I also don't think anything has ever made me want to be a kid again like it did. I also wonder why I never had any attractive teachers growing up. C'est la vie. I'm a fan.

Year of the Cat

2007-02-15T21:04:00.000-07:00

Over Christmas break I copied some of my Mom's CD's onto my computer. I like my Mom's music. I'm listening to Al Stewart. Sometimes I wish it were 1977. If that were the case, we would have Star Wars to look forward to. My Dad saw it over 20 times during its first theatrical release. My older sister would be born next year. John Lennon would still be alive. The Cars would stil be indie. KC and the Sunshine Band would be our boogie men. We could buy stock in Microsoft. That would be neat. The computer I'm writing this on would fill up the room instead of my lap. Different time, different world.

Now "Rocky Racoon" is playing.