What the World Needs Now

I've been thinking a little bit lately and I think I may have come up with a solution to help tone down all the protesting and activism that we are presently seeing in the world today. What is the solution? More mysterious serial killers. Just think. If there were a bunch of unsolved murders occuring do you think people would have time to be out protesting things? No, they'd be too afraid that they're going to die to be concerned with anything else. We'd all come home, check the news and see that the headline is about how (insert your own catchy serial killer name here) has claimed another victim to which we would react by locking the deadbolt and peeking through the peephole. It wouldn't make matters any better when the only composite sketch that is released is a very generic looking male that you think you see everywhere you go. You'd play like nothing's wrong and your friend's would say, "Wow, you're keeping a cool head in light of the circumstances." But you don't show that your main concern is keeping that cool head of yours attached to your body. Frenzy in the streets and fear in the heart, that's what the world needs now.