Interview

Sometimes I wonder what it would be liked to be interviewed day by day. If I was interviewed yesterday this is what it would have been like.

• Rolling Stone: How was work?
• Jeremy Warner: All I did was drink water and go to the bathroom all day long.

But if the interview took place on July 23 it would have gone something like this.

• Spin: How was work?
• Jeremy Warner: Crazy
• Spin: What happened?
• JW: Well it all started when this bald guy came in and was all 'Are you the manager?' and then I was like 'No.' then he was like 'Well can I talk to the manager?' and I was all 'Uhhh, yeah, go talk to her' because I had food in my hands.
• Spin: What did he want?
• JW: I walked over and asked one of the cooks if they were La Migra because they had all gotten very quiet and didn't say anything. Then the bald guy was like 'Is there a Carlos that has worked here?' and I was like 'Probably at some point in the existence of this place. That's a very common name.' Then he said 'This is very serious, we have reason to believe that he is here.' Then I said 'Who said he was here?' and he was like 'His family.'
• Spin: His family?
• JW: Yeah, his family. Like his family is a great source in an immigration case.
• Spin: Yeah, that is unlikely/
• JW: That Carlos's family must really hate him, you know? But anyways, Captain Immigration went looking through the back as if we were hiding him in a box or a closet like Elian Gonzalez.  He found nothing.  

If I was interviewed about today it would have gone like this.

• Daily Universe: How was work?
• Jeremy Warner: All I did was drink water and go to the bathroom all day long.

You must not know bout me, you must not know bout me.

I'm really glad that Beyonce is on VH1 right now.
I turned twenty-three. It is pretty okay. I had a fun party.
I just realized Beyonce rhymes "minute" with "minute." I think Fred Durst may have written this particular song.
But anyways. Here's a rundown of things.

 

Sometimes I Think I Should Sleep More.

But I never actually follow through. Last week I slept until noon. It felt good. Until I realized I was supposed to be at work at eleven.
Sleep is always a good time. I don't think I've ever had a bad sleep. Bad dreams maybe, but I don't think I dream too much. At least, I don't remember many dreams.
I had a dream a couple weeks ago. All I could recall when I woke up was John McCain was in it.
I'm so patriotic. From now on I will only be known as the Star-Spangled Boy.
Not to be confused with Metal Uncle "Flag Shop Moved."
Not to be confused with "Metal" Mario.Now that I have strayed off topic, I hope to sleep more. And when I do, I only want to dream about this.

Would you like to go out and pick some purpley o's?

Happiness is two kinds of ice cream.

Julys

I have neglected the internets lately. But that is because I have other things that I have been up to. Would you like to know about it?

It will be fun.


Alright then.

I rode a bike.
I swam in a pool.
I rafted down a river.
I saw my family.
I hurt myself playing HORSE.
I got a nosebleed from horseradish.
I watched "Gremlins."
I put my guitar back together.
I saw the birth of a University.
Amy moved to Saint George. She was good at cutting lemons.
Erin moved to Seattle. She was probably good at cutting lemon.
I listened to a lot of Motown and RnB.
I like lists.
I still need to file my tax return.
My parents asked me why I'm not funny.
I kissed a girl and I liked it.

Neat, huh?
तो क्लोसे....

00110101100 (hello)

I have neglected to blog. I've been busy.
I did do this though.
The summer has been pretty darn good.