Interview

Sometimes I wonder what it would be liked to be interviewed day by day. If I was interviewed yesterday this is what it would have been like.

• Rolling Stone: How was work?
• Jeremy Warner: All I did was drink water and go to the bathroom all day long.

But if the interview took place on July 23 it would have gone something like this.

• Spin: How was work?
• Jeremy Warner: Crazy
• Spin: What happened?
• JW: Well it all started when this bald guy came in and was all 'Are you the manager?' and then I was like 'No.' then he was like 'Well can I talk to the manager?' and I was all 'Uhhh, yeah, go talk to her' because I had food in my hands.
• Spin: What did he want?
• JW: I walked over and asked one of the cooks if they were La Migra because they had all gotten very quiet and didn't say anything. Then the bald guy was like 'Is there a Carlos that has worked here?' and I was like 'Probably at some point in the existence of this place. That's a very common name.' Then he said 'This is very serious, we have reason to believe that he is here.' Then I said 'Who said he was here?' and he was like 'His family.'
• Spin: His family?
• JW: Yeah, his family. Like his family is a great source in an immigration case.
• Spin: Yeah, that is unlikely/
• JW: That Carlos's family must really hate him, you know? But anyways, Captain Immigration went looking through the back as if we were hiding him in a box or a closet like Elian Gonzalez.  He found nothing.  

If I was interviewed about today it would have gone like this.

• Daily Universe: How was work?
• Jeremy Warner: All I did was drink water and go to the bathroom all day long.