Holiday

I have neglected this blog.... I give you my apology.

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I just slept in class

And now I am blogging.  Can anyone say 21st century?  

In other news...

I am busy going to school and doing all sorts of entertaining things.

I am quite happy in love.

Things are going pretty okay.

The art of early mornings.

I didn't go to the library, I just sat there.
I ddn't do my assigment, I just sat there.
I forgot the "i" in "didn't" and the "n" in "assignment.
It is early and I'm afraid I have long hours awake still.
I need to grade papers.
I need to find book resources.
I think I will do that in awhile.
I am now grading papers, while I just sit here.

Get This

So I was just sitting there minding my own business, you know just drinking some water and cuddling with Catey, when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, completely unexpected, out of the blue, didn't see it coming at all, Katie Katherine spills peaches and cream all over her.  

Unbelievable.

There are no stupid questions, only stupid people

Man: This is a strange map.
Me: That's actually the activity section of the kids menu. What you've got there is a maze.

Interview

Sometimes I wonder what it would be liked to be interviewed day by day. If I was interviewed yesterday this is what it would have been like.

• Rolling Stone: How was work?
• Jeremy Warner: All I did was drink water and go to the bathroom all day long.

But if the interview took place on July 23 it would have gone something like this.

• Spin: How was work?
• Jeremy Warner: Crazy
• Spin: What happened?
• JW: Well it all started when this bald guy came in and was all 'Are you the manager?' and then I was like 'No.' then he was like 'Well can I talk to the manager?' and I was all 'Uhhh, yeah, go talk to her' because I had food in my hands.
• Spin: What did he want?
• JW: I walked over and asked one of the cooks if they were La Migra because they had all gotten very quiet and didn't say anything. Then the bald guy was like 'Is there a Carlos that has worked here?' and I was like 'Probably at some point in the existence of this place. That's a very common name.' Then he said 'This is very serious, we have reason to believe that he is here.' Then I said 'Who said he was here?' and he was like 'His family.'
• Spin: His family?
• JW: Yeah, his family. Like his family is a great source in an immigration case.
• Spin: Yeah, that is unlikely/
• JW: That Carlos's family must really hate him, you know? But anyways, Captain Immigration went looking through the back as if we were hiding him in a box or a closet like Elian Gonzalez.  He found nothing.  

If I was interviewed about today it would have gone like this.

• Daily Universe: How was work?
• Jeremy Warner: All I did was drink water and go to the bathroom all day long.

You must not know bout me, you must not know bout me.

I'm really glad that Beyonce is on VH1 right now.
I turned twenty-three. It is pretty okay. I had a fun party.
I just realized Beyonce rhymes "minute" with "minute." I think Fred Durst may have written this particular song.
But anyways. Here's a rundown of things.

 

Sometimes I Think I Should Sleep More.

But I never actually follow through. Last week I slept until noon. It felt good. Until I realized I was supposed to be at work at eleven.
Sleep is always a good time. I don't think I've ever had a bad sleep. Bad dreams maybe, but I don't think I dream too much. At least, I don't remember many dreams.
I had a dream a couple weeks ago. All I could recall when I woke up was John McCain was in it.
I'm so patriotic. From now on I will only be known as the Star-Spangled Boy.
Not to be confused with Metal Uncle "Flag Shop Moved."
Not to be confused with "Metal" Mario.Now that I have strayed off topic, I hope to sleep more. And when I do, I only want to dream about this.

Would you like to go out and pick some purpley o's?

Happiness is two kinds of ice cream.

Julys

I have neglected the internets lately. But that is because I have other things that I have been up to. Would you like to know about it?

It will be fun.


Alright then.

I rode a bike.
I swam in a pool.
I rafted down a river.
I saw my family.
I hurt myself playing HORSE.
I got a nosebleed from horseradish.
I watched "Gremlins."
I put my guitar back together.
I saw the birth of a University.
Amy moved to Saint George. She was good at cutting lemons.
Erin moved to Seattle. She was probably good at cutting lemon.
I listened to a lot of Motown and RnB.
I like lists.
I still need to file my tax return.
My parents asked me why I'm not funny.
I kissed a girl and I liked it.

Neat, huh?
तो क्लोसे....

00110101100 (hello)

I have neglected to blog. I've been busy.
I did do this though.
The summer has been pretty darn good.

Best Summer Ever.

I'm predicting it.

Sports Sports Sports of Sorts

My roommate was watching something on ESPN and they were talking about Game 4 of the Western Conference Finals between the Spurs and the Lakers. They were talking about what a bad idea it was to give the ball to Brent Barry with 2.1 seconds remaining.


I got to thinking about people I would not want to have the hypothetical ball in a time of crisis. Here goes.

Scott Skiles
Penny Hardaway
Any member of Taking Back Sunday
Marcus Camby
Jeremy Warner
Danny Manning
Danny Tanner
Doogie Houser
Doug E. Doug
Ken Masters
The entire 1972-73 Philadelphia 76ers
Scottie Pippen.

Who I would:

Wilt Chamberlain
Michael Jordan
Dr. J
Steve Kerr
Jesus

Remembering Memorial Day

Walter Meego is way awesome.
S'mores are good.
I made another blog. Not to replace this one, but to showcase high school art and stuff. Click here to visit it.
I hope summer is rad. Super rad.

Hi Jeremy!

I was talking to some of my buddies the other day and I was telling them about this job I got for the summer. I asked around if they new anyone that might be interested in working in Florida for the summer and one of them gave me your name. So I looked up your email address in the school directory. Anyway, they still have plenty of openings for sales reps selling Secruity Alarm Systems. I think they might need a couple of installers too. But the best part of working for this company, is that they pay for your travel and staying is this way great apartment complex with 2 pools. It is so cool. I will make so much money this summer...like 20,000 to 30,000 or more. My friend Brendon has been doing this every summer for the past 3 years. Now he is a supervisor. We sell and install Security Alarm Systems in the day and play in the evenings. Jeremy these systems are not hard to sell and I think you would be great at it, heck I'm new, so together we can learn and make a bundle of dough... So check out this website, it shows you where we would be living and playing. How cool is that!! http://palmsatsawgrassmills.com/index2.html Oh and if you would like to talk with my boss Brendon to check it out, just send me the best number to call you at and I will get you hooked up. Have a great summer....hope to see you in Florida.

Jason
Silver-line Security
http://www.silverlinesecurity.net

Fun

I had a good weekend.
I like this.

I get knocked down.

Did you know Chumbawamba was formed in 1982?
Did you know that I had asthma as a child and was taken to the hospital for the only time in my life due to an asthma attack?
If you answered yes to either of these questions, let's get married.

Where would I be without you as a friend?

That last post was on a piece of paper in my house which was written by my friend Colby.
In high school I had a best friend named Zac. I went to college. I went on a mission. I came home. I think I've talked to him 3 times in the past four years. Turns out he's a rock star.
And I'm just me.

Good Morning!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's been a while, hasn't it? Allow me to introduce myself. Since we last talked, I changed my name to Oraleus Blasofas. A bit strange, I know, but with my job as a Blasofasto rocket technician, I think it's fitting. I dropped out of school because I just didn't want to be an esophate chloroplant harvester anymore.
Recently I've been really into nebulonian fuel research and I'm spending most of my time honing my galactic fuel scarcity skills. When I do find a free moment I try to comet hop as much as I can.
Yes, I bet you're wondering if I'm still afraid of Seesetzian Scorofaz. Of course I am. If you had a Scorofaz Hindo tail try to cyber-violate you, you'd be scarred for life too. I mean, sure, I tried to mind block him and invisi-sock him but on can only do so much.
I don't know what I'm going to do next year. I have a pretty promising offer to develop Blasofasto gastic rudders but I'm not sure if I have enough inter-galacto accepted trade currency for my tuition.
Advice? I'm not all the wise, but if there's one thing I know for sure, it's that you always need to work hard and Blasofasto even harder. Don't forget that.
Well, it's been a pleasure. I'll make sure to send you an ornafoosa plant from my old harvest collection as soon as i get a korvorkian nano-second.

Love,
Oraleus Blasofas

Whatever Makes Us Happy is Fine with Me

Bowling is fun.
I went bowling a couple weeks ago.
And it was fun.

The coolest thing I think I've done this year is ride from the Creamery on Ninth back to my house on Center Street with no hands.


Definitely the coolest.

This Will Tide You Over

Summertime

No School
No Parents
Just Fun

Let me do the talking now that I'm here.

It's late and this is on MTV2.

I wish it was this.


Or possibly "Sensual Seduction."
It was really cold today as well.

Teach a Man to Fish

This morning I cast my line into the ocean of dreams.  The only thing biting was the gigglefish.  

A Feisty Summer

Feist is coming to Park City the day before my birthday. FUN!

What Beautiful Weather You Have! (The Better to Coax You to Remove Your Jacket.)

It was way nice outside. And yesterday too. Yesterday was just an awesome day:
Church.
Bike riding.
Bike crashing.
More bike riding.
Stephen Groo.
More bike riding.
Cookies.
Scooter riding.
Note writing.
More scooter riding.
Limeade.

Today was pretty okay too:
Work.
Soup.
Taxes.
Piano.
Homework.
Blogging.

On second thought today wasn't that much fun.



Until now.....




Totally sick!

Saturday

Have you ever been shaving with an electric razor and it dies? Well, I have. Today, in fact.







That's not even Photoshopped. It hurt a lot.

I'm a Real Boy

I think that one of my biggest fears is that no one will take me seriously.  

To Whom It May Concern

My life is not very interesting.  I woke up today and saw that it had snowed.  I then thought, "That's neat.  I don't want to do my homework."  So, I didn't.  Then I went to Best Buy and played rock band.  After that I went to the mall.  I went into the bathroom and saw something funny.  You know how there is usually mirrors on the opposite side of the stalls?  Well, there was a guy who didn't shut the door to his stall and I could clearly see him in the mirror when I walked in.  That was funny.  Then I ate some Sbarro pizza.  I felt so teenage.  Then I went to the 1:10 showing of Juno.  It was just me, an elderly woman and two preteen children.  

Boring.

I also think I'm just a little awkward.  Maybe in the 14-79% range.  Which would actually mean a little to a lot of awkward.  

I also have writer's block.  

Star Wars

Is Awesome.

The Joy of Cola

What happened to Hallie Eisenberg, the little Pepsi girl?
Well, turns out she likes PlayStation.

She's also been on Broadway.

Maybe there will be a huge twist of irony in 2011 when she wins the Coca-Cola Refreshing Filmmakers Award.

I'm Getting Married

Only real suckers fall for that on the 3rd.

The Writer's Strike is Over

I will write more soon. This is to tide you over. Our agenda for the next few months.

Initial Five Years
Through a consistent regimen of activities, we begin to learn the craft.

A. Practice Jobs (Goals)
1. Sharpen timing
2. Be able to make errors in safe environment

B. First Real Heist (Goals)
1. Assemble small team
2. Create cash base
¯¯¯¯¯
Mr. Henry

C. Cultivate Relationship with Abe Henry
1. Work with professionals
2. Make name for ourselves
Anthony: Of all our goals the crucial one to bring to fruition is C. Mr. Henry

* Positive values
Loyalty
Enthusiasm

*Negative Values
Sloth
Predictability

The 2nd Five Years
D. Going Legitimate (w/ Mr. Henry)
1. Make wise investments
2. The Robin Hood Principle
a. Establish good will within community
b. Anonymous donations
E. Develop outside interests
a. Travel
b. Art
c. Science

3rd Phase Years 10-15
Anthony the ideas for these years are ............*****

The Next 25 Years
F. Obviously these years will be heavily influenced by the years that precede them.
1. Multiple accommodations
2. When possible
a. Meet people from foreign countries.
b. Find ways to develop properties

Anthony
Remember what Huey Long said, "You make your own opportunities"

Further Opportunities
..............*****
"Ways of Success"
These are some plans for ways of success
a. chances
b. odds
c. bet long

The Next Fifty

G. Keep working
1. Keep developing
2. No more crime
* Wives and family *
Very crucial
1. Houses
a. Beach house
b. Town house
c. Ranch
d. Lake house

...................*****

Living into 21st century

H. Anthony as you know there can be no way of looking this far ahead.
1. Remain flexible
2. Don't be too derogatory

I. Consider alternatives
1. Within field
2. Outside field
a. College
b. Higher degrees
c. Honorary degrees

J. Why not plan ahead ......why not continue......*****

Season 2

Hello. I would like to extend a personal welcome to any new readers and a digital handshake to those among the others. Expect a lot of development this year. Who knows where it will take us. All that I can do is tell you where it's been.
What do you do on Saturdays? Ever wonder what I do on Saturdays (No, p. 98; Yes, continue)? Well, instead of telling you about it, I will let you experience it online.
First. I went to Bret's birthday party (he's 23 you know). I ate food. The entertainment?

With:

Followed by:

Then:

And:

Which led to :



Fun!

Private Road

Last night I went 80's dancing in Salt Lake and came back and there was a boot on my truck. They said I was parked on a private road. I would think that they should maybe put up a bigger sign that said, "Hey, cougar, don't park here or I'm going to put a boot on your car. That's right bitc*." But they don't. So that was at 3 in the AM. I waited a half hour for the boot man to come and I was all tired.
Then I tried to sleep but had the most psychologically terrorizing sleep I can remember and I could not get warm and I ended up throwing up till I dry heaved. I repeated that process a few times then finally I got warm. And I got off work after only being there for 40 minutes because I looked like I was stoned and was going to vomit again.
Hurray! January!